What we make of it
by Lousy writer
Summary: The Third's quick decisions granted Naruto a loving family and a stable environment. One thing is sure, Naruto won't let anyone tell him his 'lack' of pain prevent him from understanding others. The Uzumaki won't be that famous unknown clan here. No Dark/Vengeful/Godly/Murderous/all-around-Jerk! Naruto here, just a nice if brash kid trying to make the world a nicer place.
1. Prologue: Birthday fiasco

Alright! My only reviewer told me this chapter was crap (he said it in nicer words but still...) and I agree it needs a serious rework. I knew it wasn't that good but I wasn't expecting it to be that bad...

"-and then the Hokage brought you here... And that's it. Um... You okay?" It was a legitimate question. They had just told the child of the circumstances surrounding his birth. His status as a Jinchuuriki and his birth parents identities were never a secret but with him soon entering the Academy they felt he had to know what happened that night.

The boy looked up at the three adults sitting around the table with his big blue eyes. He looked shaken but then again who wouldn't be after that tale. His mouth set into a frown as he visibly made an effort to collect himself before asking "How... I mean you said Ma' and Pa' were the only ones there so..."

"I think it's best if your uncle explain it sweetie. It's way other our heads." The boy's adoptive mother intervened.

Said man rubbed his temples in slight frustration, he knew he was there for this reason but it didn't make it any easier. How not to raise the boy's hope to be disappointed? "Well you see Naruto, your parents wanted to be there for you and so your father put some of their chakra and memories of that night inside the seal so they could explain it to you themselves when the the time was right. Your Godfather and I picked up on it and we managed to 'read' the memories without breaking the whole thing apart."

"So that mean I can talk to Ma' and Pa'!?"

Naruto's uncle winced at the boy hopeful tone, just what he wanted to avoid "Actually it's a one time thing. You'll only get one shot of it so..."

Seeing the boy's face crumble his mother said "Then you'll have to make the most out of it right Naruto? So that when you meet them they won't be able to believe how great you turned out!"

Naruto smiled "Yeah! I'll make them proud. Thanks Mom." He turned to his uncle "Say Uncle Kyosuke, my parent they were really brave right?"

Kyosuke froze and Naruto's mother shot him a hesitant glance. "Yeah. What they did was brave indeed..." The two other adult knew were he was likely going and Kyosuke himself was trying his hardest to resist it. The boy was only eight... But that was also part of the problem, the glint of admiration in his eyes was unmistakable. "But it was also pretty stupid." He couldn't let the boy set himself the life goal of dying for whatever sounds cool at that time. Naruto was a bit too focused on awesomeness as it was...

"Wha-"

"Kyosuke!"

"Sorry but if you want to think of your parents as those great guys there's a thousand other reasons to do so. I never met them but if only half of what people say around here is true they're probably some of the nicest people to be ninjas..." Better stay away from this course for now... Letting the boy see for himself would be best.

He had to prevent Naruto from idolizing his parent's death. He could easily see how but it was a bit harsh, and Kyosuke harsly believed in the virtues of being harsh. If he could temper his point of view a bit it'd be alright, maybe... "And if I were to be completely honest I'd say they died for nothing." That was the harsh part... "Now I can guess they weren't thinking clearly at the time, what with the world falling apart around them. But that don't change the fact that there was half a hundred ways they could have handed the situation better without dying in the process." And that was his pitiful atempt at damage control...

And now came his overwhelming need to rant. "Let's take it in order... First there was the moment that masked guy threw you up in the air and your Pa' catched you with his godly teleportation jutsu that even that guy couldn't follow with. He could have dropped the trapped blanket, spam back to your Ma' take her and got back home in less time one could blink."

His audience was frozen. Better end this before the shock wore off. "And then your Pa' take enough time to put you to bed to allow that masked guy to unseal the Kyuubi from your Ma'. If it were me I'd pop in the Hokage's office, drop you into the Third's arm and tell him an enemy was trying to get the fox out and pop back to your mom. Ten seconds top!"

"Now there's the oversight of letting the masked guy go. You just don't let a guy who's that dangerous go. At least not when he's going on a monologue after saying he'll leave the moment his piece was said. Oh, and when he got the fox out of the village, was it too hard to ask that big toad to stick his big sword in the big bad fox's face? Would have helped..."

"And finally the sealing itself. First, your Ma' was an Uzumaki and if she survived until then sealing the fox back into her and getting her to a medic ASAP would have done the trick. Heck! If even if her wounds were too much for a normal medic there's always Tsunade, your Godfather and Pa' would have been all too happy to drag her ass back here if they needed to. If it came to worst anyway then they seal the fox into you anyway but they use the not sacrifice-needing transfert method."

He took a deep breath to calm down. The next part had little to nothing to do with the topic but he had to let it out of his chest. "I still don't get how they managed to do it anyway... The only reason they had the opportunity to do so was the Kyuubi's stupidity. It got its claw stuck through the both of them and they held it back, somehow. Anything with half a brain would just raise its other paw and let gravity and the claw's sharpness do their work..."

His audience was showing signs of dropping out of their haze. Time to make a run for it... "Um... I'll go out for a while."

"Now wait a moment you b-" Naruto's adoptive mother curse was cut short as Kyosuke had already left. Sighing she turned to Naruto. "Are you alright sweetie? You know your uncle. He doesn't really think before talking. I'm sure he didn't really mean it..."

The boy kept silent, as if thinking. It was a strange expression on him, he was always so full of life. After a moment his raise his eyes to those of his mom. "I'm okay... I'll go to my room..." He clearly wasn't. Alas she couldn't see a way to reach him for now.

As soon as Naruto made his way out she pounced on her husband. "You were absolutely useless!"

* * *

Deep inside the seal around the child's navel, three entities stirred. If they ever got their hands (or claws) on that Kyosuke person there'll be hell to pay. After they were done beating themselves up...

AN: I hope its better. Or at least less of a mess.

Yeah, the Kyuubi's assault arc left me banging my head against a wall. Like the war arc... If Kabuto can make his Edo appear anywhere he want and the Zetsu knew the location of the medic camp (why all the medics were in the same place is another problem) why in tarnation didn't he make Nagato nuke the whole place...


	2. What to do?

Sarutobi Hiruzen watched as the infant slept in his cradle. Thanks to his own negligence his options had been drastically reduced. He blamed it on the wariness of an old man who went past his limits, fighting a battle that would have left him begging for rest even in his prime and pushing even further in hopes of bringing aid to his successor only to catch the last spark of life fade from the man and his wife, unable to do anything. So when he brought young Naruto, he hoped Minato and Kushina didn't change plans at the last minute, back to the village he didn't bother being discrete and at the questions of what happened to their Hokage, the fate of the fox and just who was that baby the physically and emotionally exhausted old man just told the bare truth: Minato died sealing the mighty Kyuubi inside Naruto, no doubt the news would have reached even the most recluse of men before dawn and with emotions running as high as they were Hiruzen was in for the mother f all headaches by that time.

"Revealing the status of the Jinchuuriki was a mistake Hiruzen."

"I don't think you need to remind him Shimura Danzo, given the circumstances we can hardly blame him."

The bandaged man merely inclined his head before stating "It may be so, but the facts remain unchanged. If left alone the situation will degenerate into riots before tomorrow."

"So, what should we do Hiruzen?" Asked Utatane Koharu to her former teammate.

"First thing first, we must find someone to take care of young Naruto. Try to contact the Uzumaki, family should be less prone to prejudice..."

Pushing up his glasses Mitokado Homura brought over a fodder "Way ahead of you here." Browsing through the contents a frown soon marred his face "Of the three resident Uzumaki households two were located in the north-western district..." right in the middle of the Kyuubi's rampage were the words left unsaid "Taking the time of the attack into account we can assume the worst."

"The last one?" Inquired Sarutobi.

"Uzumaki Naoto and Kyoko. Outer Est district. We can only hope they threw the baby shower."

"Never count on luck, as it stand if all of them were reunited in one place two out of four 'chances' lies under rubble." Cut in Danzo. "Give me the address I'll send some men." Not waiting for a response The battle scarred man peered over his compatriot shoulder before leaving.

"Hiruzen, are you alright?" Asked Koharu "We need you at the top of your game."

"I am fine enough. Just feeling a little old..."

"Danzo just ran off to do his own thing Saru." Interjected Homura.

"I am aware he intends to take an active part in Naruto's upbringing but he is meticulous, he won't act before knowing my course of action. He knows as much as I do that we cannot afford to clash with the village in this state. I have a pretty good guess as to what he intends to do, that should be enough for you to know who'll prevail here."

A knock announced Danzo's return, the man entered the Hokage office a grim expression on his face. "It appears the last Uzumaki family survived. However my agents reported are experiencing great turmoil, what with Kumo's attack at the beginning the war and the recent tragedy they feel they lost too many relatives tot his village. It is likely they'll consider leaving this place soon."

If the situation wasn't so dire Hiruzen would have had to repress a knowing smile, one could always expect Danzo to be himself. "Then it is up to us to convince them otherwise, isn't it? Of course I wouldn't want to force anyone but it is of the utmost importance that we keep the Uzumaki grounded here."

"You don't say..."

"Of course, with the Senju extinct we would benefit greatly from a new clan's prestige."

"Now Hiruzen, the clan was decimated with their village and is too spread out to even be considered that." Supplied Homura.

"Not to mention it would be an obvious sham as their clan arts have disappeared with their shinobi. While the fourth and his wife could have brought the rebirth of the clan their passing dashed all hope of this knowledge being transmitted to their descendant." Said Danzo.

"That may be so. What do you think Homura?"

"I don't see how granting pardon to a missing nin will bring us more benefits than inconveniences Saru, since that's where you're trying so subtly to lead us too."

"Dear, am I that obvious in my old age?" chuckled the Hokage. "Now can one of you tell me what we assume of the surviving Uzumaki."

"Ah, I see now. So you're betting on the call of the blood." Concluded Danzo.

"Indeed, we know that what survivor there were are those who already settled in minor villages and various other location, those that escaped their hometown down followed in their steps. Rooting the clan firmly in the leaf would be a great tool in normalizing our relations with minor powers."

"Such sentimentality..."

"I see you are not convinced, as usual... I am the Hokage, be assured I am not unaware of the realities of the world. It would unwise not to consider the possibility of a breach in our security due to such a relationship, yet it would be just as unwise not to consider the opportunity to gain agents in the midst of potential enemies. It's not much of a departure from the 'classic' spying game in my opinion, actually the specificity of sch a gambit would put us at an advantage."

"Oh?"

"It's, as you no doubt like to put it privately, our 'lax' attitude regarding life in the village. These relationships will be based on the bonds between family, their desire to keep close. By providing the necessary environment to the fostering of such bonds we will insure to ourselves the sympathy of all parties whereas any obstacle shall be a source of alienation."

"I see, either play along or risk loosing the would-be spies loyalty... Clever. I'd say it's a bit farfetched yet not so much than the risks outweigh the gains."

Hiruzen took out his pipe and almost ignited it before remembering the infant sleeping on his desk. If their was one advantage to having Danzo as member of his council it was his geometrically opposed way of thinking. Whatever managed to elude Hiruzen when devising a course of action Danzo was sure to bring up in his usual confrontational way, thus allowing him to adjust and get that much closer to perfection. Now that all agreed the idea was sound was the matter of its execution.

"I'll get you a report on all known Uzumaki missing nins by tomorrow." Said Homura before bowing and taking his leave.

"Should I ask my man to summon the Uzumaki?" At the Hokage's nod Danzo inclined his head and left.

"Since it seems that letting you some time to yourself is the newest trend I'll take care of coordinating the rescue effort. Unless I'm more needed here of course..."

"I'll be alright. Thank you Koharu." As his last advisor exited his office the aging Hokage let out a deep sigh as he gazed at the sleeping baby. Once again he wondered how thing went so wrong in just a few hours. Aware that his friends an Danzo had gifted him with such an opportunity Hiruzen let the day's event wash over him while he still could afford it. Heavens knew the few hours he was granted were utterly insufficient to mourn the loss of a wife, let alone the countless anonymous that lost their life that night...

* * *

"He's got his mother lungs that's for sure!" laughed the white haired man. The toads told him of his prized student's fate the night before and he attended the service they held for the passing of all their summoners on mount Myobuku. As soon as they all payed their respects to Minato the toads reverse-summoned him directly before Konoha's gate and he made a beeline to the Hokage tower, barely taking any time to hand out words of encouragement and condolence as he went. Jiraiya's heart gripped as he saw his teacher sitting behind what should have been Minato's desk. They talked for hours, trying to make sense of what happened and to keep the pain at bay by busying their minds. It didn't quite work and Naruto's awakening and subsequent wailing was truly a Godsend.

"Indeed. I fear he also inherited her appetite. He goes through milk as she did ramen."

"Can't you get a nurse to take care of that? I can't believe the kid didn't drive you mad..."

"A nurse? I'm sure you'd like that that Jiraiya."

"You say that as if I were hiding it!" Jiraiya laughed again "But seriously, how do you calm him down?"

"You'll find bottles in the basket next to his crib. If you could be so kind as to perform your duties as his godfather."

"It shouldn't be too hard..." Said Jiraiya as he picked up the baby and a warm milk bottle "Now Naruto, I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

Trading milk for peace the younger man addressed his former teacher "Talking about my duties, what will happen to Naruto? As much as I want to I can't stay in the village long enough to take care of a child... I could train someone to take over my spy network but it'd still take years on the fields to bring them where they should be. The kid deserve more..."

"Yes, Naruto needs constant care and stability and I already have a lead on how to provide him with both, however I'll need your help for that."

"That's good to hear. And you know you only have to ask."

"As you know Naruto's status as a Jinchuuriki is common knowledge as of now, your expertise would be useful in order to calm the fears of his would-be adoptive parents when I'll meet them this afternoon."

"Easy enough, anything else?"

Hiruzen lips curled in a mischievous smile "I'll need you to spread words about the rebirth of the Uzumaki clan here in Konoha and that we're offering safe haven to all who'd seek our protection."

"Wha-"

"Only non missing ninja of course. We'll be more selective concerning them... We must keep in mind that Naruto's condition is not a secret, as well as the prejudice attached to this condtion. Everyone in the elmental nations know of the Hachibi's numerous rampages in Kumo, the same goes for the curse of madness that befall the Ichibi's hosts Or when Roshi from Iwa went rogue. The people are aware a Jinchuuriki rarely constitute a safe barrier against a Bijuu's rage." Sarutobi rubbed his temple as he set his pen down "It is perfectly understandable that they'll fear Naruto, sadly this fear will lead them to keep their distance from the boy, to keep out of the path of destruction the Kyuubi could lead him shall it overcome the seal. And of course an ostracized child will be all the more prone to fall under the fox's influence. To avoid this downward spiral Naruto must be loved by a family so that when the villagers will see him they'll see a child like any other and thus he will be."

"Love breeds love, huh? Sure beats any cycle of hatred... Well it's like they say: the first step is the most important."

"Obviously. One last thing: you can't have a shinobi clan without shinobi, I have here a list of known Uzumaki missing nins, the last to know of the clan's lost secrets. I'll need you to find them, I'd send some hunter nins but we can't afford to send anyone on their track for now. At best we'll be able to launch on their tracks in a week so we'll need pretty hot tracks to make up for lost time."

"You said you were going to be selective... Which ones do you have an eye for?" Hiruzen handed a fodder to his student who opened it. "Uzumaki Kyosuke, C-rank.19, genin, abilities unknown... Sensei, that brat deserted Uzu three months after he became a genin. Two months before the village destruction too, I guess they didn't have time to catch him. Doesn't look like he knows any secret technique or anything. Nothing of note to his name, probably kept a low profile and did some odd job for civilians during the war. I guess this guy will stir the less possible trouble but he's nothing to build a clan around..."

"Then the next three shall interest you."

"Let's see... Uzumaki Shigeru, Masaki and Josuke... Hmph. Now that's the opposite all over thirty and each with their own pedigree. Well, you always pleaded for transmission of knowledge between generations..."

* * *

Naoto didn't quite know what he was getting into when he proposed to Kyoko. First was the fact that it was him that married into her clan, not that he cared much, then came the first large scale family meetings which revealed that all Uzumaki shared the same obnoxious personality, and none more than the younger cousin Kushina. Then came the third great ninja war and the tragedies began: Uzu was obliterated as the opening act of the war and as Konoha forces headed East to defend the coast from incursions into the continent Kumo raided the Uzumaki compound, to specifically kidnap Kushina... The girl made it back thanks to the timely intervention of Konoha's new golden boy (and number one lovestruck fool) Namikaze Minato. The war took its toll on the clan but in the end they somehow survived: three families, soon to be four, now given the chance to rebuild something, what was still a question but the intent was there (a common trait among the family). That's when, less than half a year after the main conflicts stopped, with the exception of some minor skirmishes against Kumo (the Raikage was THAT pigheaded), the Kyuubi attacked and laid waste to a fifth of the city, and to all their hopes. So when the Hokage presented Kushina's son to them and explained what burden was placed on his tiny shoulders, when they saw this new promise for the future that was all but gifted to them and his wife lost her voice and her tears fell freely Naoto knew he all he had to know.

"Of course. We'll take him in."

AN: Quick time line for all of you who didn't follow. Naruto's birth will be year 0 ('cause he's the messiah, am I not subtle?)

-28: Kyoko's birth

-27: Naoto's birth

-21: Kushina's birth, Minato's birth

-19: Kyosuke's birth

-13: Kakashi's birth (plus obito, Rin, Asuma, Anko... nearly everyone.)

-10: Kushina arrives at Konoha

-7: Uzu is destroyed, Kyosuke leves Uzu, Kushina is kidnapped, TGNW begins

-1: Kakashi Gaiden, Team Gai's birth (not in that way, maybe)

0: TGNW ends, You-Know-Who and Kyuubi attacks Konoha, Naruto's birth (plus Sasuke, Shino, Ino... nearly everyone again)

8: Prologue chapter, a meteor crashes on the planet destroying it making this story a waste of your time

9: Both Sephiroth an Uchiha Madara deny all implication in the 'meteor incident'

10:Mizuha Kusuha incarcerated for her implication in the 'meteor incident', Hagane's crew claims that Narutoverse should be relieved to have avoided her 'bio-weapons'

Reset time line: 8: No meteor crash, energy drinks banned from the Narutoverse just in case


	3. Setting the pieces

The goat-masked ANBU surveyed the target from atop a nearby tree. His team's orders were to establish contact and evaluate the target's level of skill. The execution of the first task gave told them that there wasn't much to expect from the man: following procedure they dropped subtle hints of their presence at the target who didn't notice at all. The man continued on his merry way to a high class hot-springs complex and proceeded to enjoy his day. And there he was now, hiding in a tree as the man went through his sushi as if it were candy... Thankfully the target finished soon enough at his sixth helping of the dish and paid his meal, leaving a large tip to his waitress if the size of the envelope was any indication.

His team left their hiding spots and tailed the man as he made his way out of town and entered the surrounding forest some moments after the man took the dirt path leading into it. They would soon reached far enough into the wild to allow contact, goat glanced at the team leader, awaiting the signal.

"So, what do you guys want from me?" The red-haired man shouted from the middle of the road.

Their cover obviously blown he team leaped into action surrounding the man from a safe distance. No need to unsettle the man... The team leader addressed the target. "Uzumaki Kyosuke. How long did you know we were following you?"

"Three days. Around noon, I'd say." Their first hints had been dropped the morning of that same day, so he didn't miss on most of them... "Once again, what's your business with me? I don't think I've done anything that could get me on anyone's hit list."

"We are only here to make you a proposition." said the leader tossing a scroll at the missing nin.

"I suppose I'll be killed if I decline... Well I hope anyway, I busted my last paycheck here!" The team kept silent as he unraveled the scroll. "Gee! No sense of humor. That's why I hate guys like you... Let's see..." Kyosuke's face set in stone as he read the contents. "At least I was right... A Jinchuuriki, huh? Some nasty stuff here. That could be interesting. What's this about an evaluation?"

"Simple. We keep an eye on you as you serve as a mediator toward the three others. Are you prepared to potentially clash with your own kin?"

"Like you care about my answer. Just lead the way."

* * *

The first two Uzumaki were dealt with swiftly, they were both unrepentant criminals and happy enough to die fighting. That left Masaki. The ANBU's informants revealed that he intended to make some money out of some Uzumaki clan secrets salvaged from the destruction of their village. The man's trail ended near the Tenchi bridge at the border between the Land of Fire and the Land of Grass. This caused the ANBU some distress as the choice of a meeting point most likely meant he was dealing with Iwa, which couldn't be said to be on Konoha's good side.

It was decided that the ANBU would once again keep watch from afar as Kyosuke transmitted the Hokage's offer to Masaki and would jump in should the need arise. That's how Kyosuke found himself walking into his distant relative's camp hands raised high in sign of surrender.

"Stop right here. What do you want with me?"

"Easy there! I'm just a guy who found a long lost family member on his way. Just thought I'd drop by and say hi."

"You're Uzumaki you say? Prove it kid."

"I'm Kyosuke. Daisuke's and Ami's son."

Masaki took a moment to think before responding "That rings some bells. You're the runt that ran away before it all went to hell."

"Yeah. Well, I had my reasons you know... But then I found a way to catch up on the family's legacy so here am I! Sorry to tell you someone on the other side told tales on you by the way..."

"Great! As if I could go to someone else... So kid, you want some nifty justu?" Kyosuke nodded "Then tell me what you think of Uzu's destruction?"

"Pretty sad. They were some great guys and girls there... What do _you_ think about it?"

"Hmph! As expected of a runt like you." The older man's expression turned sour "I was there when it happened. Took us by surprise they did. Those Kiri bastards! We were expecting them for sure... But _him_? We had no chance to make it..."

Kyosuke nodded, signaling him to continue. "You know what a Bijuu is? Of course you know... But do you really _know_? Everyone was preparing for an assault. We were in the middle of the evacuation when the water drew back. The cowards didn't even try to fight us. Their Kage is a Jinchuuriki, I heard. The guy used the beast power far away in the middle of the sea. There's no barrier that can hold up a wave that size."

"Some of us that could still stand stayed in the ruins, to give hell to the monkeys Kiri sent to do the clean up job. Me? I grabbed the scrolls I could so that the clan survived. You got that, kid?"

"I see... So you're-"

"Gonna make them pay? You can bet your quitter ass on it! If you want to learn from what I salvaged then you'll do too."

"Destroy Kiri? Kinda far from Iwa..."

"Tsk! As if they were the only ones. The pansies didn't follow up in the war after that. They had a deal with Kumo. Can't really let their Bijuu loose on the battlefield with the Uzumaki ready to steal them away..."

"Wiping out two villages then?"

"As if! If our lousy allies weren't so focused on themselves-"

Kyosuke's eyes steeled "So that's why your going to Iwa... Since Konoha is on your list Suna's going to eat it too since they're their allies. A pity really, you didn't seem that bad of a guy..."

"Wha-"

"And you hare Jinchuuriki too. I guess we can't get along."

"You little shit! They were right, you're just a-"

"-damn traitor. A moron with no sense of loyalty whatsoever, a mongrel that's so full of himself he'd rather leave his comrades to die so that he won't have to dirty his jacket... I know. Most of it is greatly exaggerated and taken out of context."

"Why you!" The elder Uzumaki drew a kunai.

"Well, I guess I'll finally make my brain-dead sensei proud... And prove I can be loyal to a village." Replied Kyosuke as the four ANBU entered the fray.

* * *

"Your flames of Youth are dim today my friend!"

"You said something?" Replied Kakashi in his usual laid back manner that so easily got under Might Guy's skin.

"I said you're only hurting yourself."

"Yeah. That's what it must look like."

"Hiding on the rooftops and spying are most un-youthful acts."

Indeed Hatake Kakashi was currently taking position on a roof overseeing a local marketplace, as he did on every Wednesday. His lone eye tracking one particular woman and the baby she held around her front in a harness. Uzumaki Kyoko was once again taking the two months old Naruto out for grocery shopping.

"I'm only making sure nothing happens." Nothing ever happened. True, the citizens were obviously hesitant around the child and some even made an obvious effort at avoiding the pair, but no one had been overly aggressive yet. And he would make sure it kept this way.

"Yet you could keep a closer watch if you were to make your presence known to Kyoko-san."

"Now that's highly unprofessional..."

"You're not on duty right now. Being professional shouldn't be a matter here!" Having said his piece Guy took a firm hold of Kakashi's head under his shoulder and jumped down to the busy street. Kakashi could only wonder why Gai choose that moment not to respect his privacy as he usually did.

* * *

_Conclusion: despite adequate skills the subject show great contempt toward authority. Most orders are met with indifference at best and hostility at worst. **The subject is thoroughly unsuited to ANBU service!** We recommend further evaluation before any promotion to the rank of chuunin. Uzumaki Kyosuke's loyalty is subject to caution._

"Well, it appears you left quite the impression on my ANBUs." Said the Hokage as he gauged up the young man sitting before him. It was the first time a report was that adamant on one's suitability to the ANBU.

"Yes, we rubbed on each other the wrong way."

"Do you have any inkling as to why that is?"

"I'm not a disciplinarian."

"If I am to believe what I'm reading then yes. Elaborate."

Kyosuke readjusted himself on the chair "Some people tend to believe that not shouting one's enthusiasm equals marking dissension. I don't quite get it but they said that's dissension too..."

"What about _open hostility_?"

"I rolled my eyes once! They wanted me to _prove my inability_ at casting genjutsu... I'm sure one or two of them were also openly hostile behind their masks at some point or another."

The kid was insolent indeed! "And here I read you didn't show much remorse nor hesitation at participating in your clansmen's assassination."

"Two of them were scum. And the third wanted to begin the Fourth Great War, indiscriminately wiping out the whole of four of the Great Villages because some of their leader were trash and out of a misplaced sense of entitlement... Actually he was scum too!"

"Yet they were of your blood."

"That's like everything else: it doesn't exist beyond what we make of it. They were distant family but it doesn't change the fact that they had to be put out of commission and I was there. I didn't especially like it, well more like not at all but it had to be done... I'd have been the first to hug them had they been good guys."

Judgmental and self righteous, check. "Anyway, your ability to progress to the level you attained on your own denote a great ability to learn. What are your estimate in learning your clan techniques to the point of being able to teach them?"

"Hard to say... Around four to five years?"

"That will do." Sarutobi stamped a form and then another "You're integrated as a genin of Konoha and eligible to promotion. You are granted the post of interim head of the Uzumaki clan until Uzumaki Naruto comes of age. You'll be escorted to meet new clansmen. Don't make me regret this."

"I'll do my best." And cheeky to boot! He already regretted it...

* * *

"Don't be a stranger! I'm sure Naruto will love to hear about his parents from you." said Kyoko as young Kakashi and his exuberant friend left her home. Everyone was gloomy these days but the silver haired boy was taking it further than anyone else, and for good reasons. "Poor kid."

She closed the door and went back to little Naruto. The tyke was still sleeping. She would be sleeping too if she had to err... _enjoy _Guy making funny faces for close to an hour. Maybe he went into shock? The baby, not Guy... not that the latter wasn't a possibility.

Her husband had left to aid in the reconstruction effort. The city's wall had taken quite the beating and the village was wide open in case of attack. That left her all alone in the small apartment with nothing to do. It was clearly time for her to find some hobbies. Babies slept a lot after all...

She was reading a book when the new (temporary) clan leader knocked on her door.

* * *

"Were are we going mommy?" The woman looked at her daughter. The little girl looked at her with those sad brown eyes. How she loathed being the source of that look. Holding a cough in she held the little hand tighter in her own. It was the talk on the streets, the feared Uzumaki clan was born anew in Konoha. The news startled her and she'd have been caught if the vendor wasn't even more focused on the latest rumor than on his stand. Now she had both some bread and a new destination.

AN: We'll get to the good (not subjective at all ;p) stuff next chapter.

Please review honorable reader. Reviewing grants great fertility! May your offsprings be numerous and strong!


	4. Getting started on things

"Move over Naruto. Don't hog all the good spots to yourself." The pineapple haired boy probed his friend with his foot.

"I was here first Shika." The blond boy responded sticking his tongue out. As if Shikamaru had any right to speak about hogging good spots. He rolled over in the grass leaving some space of perfect mix of light and shadow beside him. "This spot is for Choji 'cause he's awesome. And polite."

"Sorry Shikamaru. I'm just too weak..." Said the chubby boy as he lay down next to Naruto.

And now the young Nara was faced with his worst dilemma yet: the sunny spot of the shadowy one? He could either see the sky and bake or enjoy a pleasant chill but have his view obscured by the leaves of the nearby tree. Deciding there was no point in looking at the clouds without seeing them Shikamaru proceeded to bare with the blazing early autumn sun.

"What are you doing here so soon anyway? You should be running around and doing all kind of troublesome things right now."

"Didn't want to..."

Choji blinked at the usually bright Uzumaki dead tone "Something happened?"

"Not really. Just got a lot of things to think about..."

"You thinking? What's next? The end of the world? What a troublesome guy... Just stick to one mood."

"It's about my parents... The dead ones. Some stuff came up and..."

"Hm, I don't really know what it's all about but I know you can't think properly on an empty stomach. Take some potato chips, they're the best: barbecue flavor!" Choji said as he extended the bag to his friend. "And the end of the world was cancelled Shikamaru."

"Thanks." Naruto didn't know why but he already felt better.

* * *

Sundays were always great, if only because she didn't have to go to the academy but then again it was also the case with Saturdays, but sunny Sundays were even better. There were so many things to enjoy in the village when it slowed down to a crawl and you could take the time to enjoy everything the day had to offer. And that delicious feeling of drowsiness that only came when it was just warm enough outside... Unless you had to see it all from the other side of a window, at least it was open, the sounds of the streets so close yet so far... The worse, though, was that it was all a self imposed punishment.

"I know you're angry with me, I'm too! Really. But that's no reason not to go out and enjoy yourself..."

"I'm not going to let you put your bloody foot into your damn mouth again, you stupid jerk!"

"Ouch, now that hurts... My poor ears. Don't let your mother ear you or you'll break her heart Tayuya."

"You're getting cocky again. Someone has to make you learn your lesson."

"That's impossible you know?" The two whipped their head toward the door, Naruto has returned "Mom always says that Uncle Kyosuke's is too thick for his own good." It seemed the kid had forgiven the man for his lack of tack the previous day.

"Your mother's analogies always lacked punch if I can say so myself."

"You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?"

"Guilty as charged!"

"You're an a-" Tayuya curse was cut short as the 'adult's' hand clamped over her mouth. She considered biting it.

"I'm only returning the favor. We don't want you teaching poor innocent Naruto here some dirty words. At least not until he starts the Academy. When is that again?"

"Next week!" Shot the overexcited blond "And Tayuya said she'd teach me tricks then!" Said redhead groaned internally.

"You did?"

"Hmph! Hmm! Nhgh!" As if she could talk with that buffoon nearly choking her!

"Oops! Sorry 'bout that!" And he had the nerve to forget about her!

"Ya better be! You..." Taking a deep breath Tayuya repressed the foul language deep within herself, where it could brew and grow until the unavoidable and glorious explosion. "I don't remember saying anything like that. You're sure you're not making that up?" Ignoring the guy was definitely the better way to spite him, she hoped.

"Nuh-uh! You said you'd see when I got into the academy."

"Keywords: I'd see. Now let me think about it... Nah. You don't have what it takes." And now the kid was trying to look intimidating with his little fists clenched tight and his little eyebrows knitted together. "On second thought... Come here." She said with a lazy wave of her hand. Naruto hesitated for half a second before running over, swayed by the sirens of cool jutsu. "Now this is something you should always remember! Always try to find and exploit an opponent weak points... Like this: TICKLE ATTACK!" Naruto squealed and tried to run away but it was too late.

Neither noticed one Uzumaki Kyosuke make an hasty retreat.

* * *

One week later found six of the seven members of the Uzumaki clan resolutely making their way toward Konoha's ninja academy. Actually only the little boy at the front showed any kind of determination in his step, the rest of the group pace being more along the lines of a leisurely walk. Naruto turned around and looked at his family. They were lagging behind. He could understand that his little brother was a little slower than the others, the kid was four (and a half!) after all, but there wasn't any reason not to pick the runt up an just go on their way at max speed! That way the- he forgot Tayuya's mom, she was way too heavy to be carried. It couldn't be helped, with a kid that barely could walk by himself and a woman in the middle of a long recovery on board going faster than snail pace was impossible.

What kind of illness left someone constantly weak years after you saw a doctor about it anyway? "Come on! I'm gonna be late. And then the teachers will make me sit at the front row and I won't have fun for the whole year!"

"What an excellent idea you have here Naruto! We don't want you to turn into a delinquent..." said his mother.

"Please don't! I'll be nice. Promise."

"We're already there idiot. Just take the next left." Shot his annoying promise-breaking meanie of a cousin.

Naruto ran to the next intersection and turned left. It was there! Just a few meters away, just below the bright red Hokage tower, he could almost reach it. And there were a lot of people waiting in front of the entrance too! A whole lot of people... "Scared?" Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin. Annoying cousins are annoying... "That's the same every year."

"I know that! I was there on _your_ first day two years ago. How do you get past that?"

"Well, you have two choices: you wait some of those guys finish their goodbyes and go home or you try to squeeze through."

"We'll wait."

"Yeah. That's better."

"Now kids, don't run off on your own." Said Naruto's dad wiping some sweat from his brow, it was a pretty hot day after all. Adults were such slowpokes...

And so they waited. As the crowd of people slowly dispersed. Most nodded a greeting as they passed by them, some stopped and made small talk before going on their way. Naruto tuned them out after a while, not that he didn't care but there wasn't a lot of different way to wish parents and their child good luck on their first academy day. Naruto just nodded when he was talked to and said goodbye when he had too.

"You're not very impressive..."

"Yes. Than-" Wait a minute... "Wha-"

The black eyed boy in front of him just chuckled at his reaction "I'm kidding. You know you didn't fool anyone? You're fidgeting too much. Well, I must go. Oh, I almost forgot... Good luck." With said the boy bowed and left.

"Uchiha Itachi." At Naruto's confused look Tayuya explained "If you actually listened you'd know he was there to see his little brother off." She stood on her tiptoes looking past him "I see an opening! Ready to go?"

"Yes!" Naruto's forward dash was immediately stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Aren't we forgetting something young man?" Yes, maybe goodbyes were in order.

* * *

"Now, who here know how to read and write?" Asked Iruka-sensei. Everyone raised their hand. "Good! Mizuki-sensei, please hand down the tests."

"With pleasure Iruka-sensei." Naruto already hated his teachers. Not even five minute in and they already had a written test?

"This place is a total nuthouse! Let's get out of here." whispered the guy sitting to his left, Kiba if he remembered it well...

"I'm with you!" was the equally whispered confirmation.

"It's look like we have a tough lot on our hand Mizuki-sensei. No one ran away yet!"

"Maybe they have what it takes after all. Well I'll put those away then." Mizuki-sensei put the large stack of paper back inside the teachers' desk, where It would hopefully stay for a long, long time. These guys were scary... "Now for your first lesson we'll learn about the Shinobi Rules."

Two hours of boring lectures later the class was running laps in one of the Academy's courtyards. Well, most of the classe did. Naruto and Kiba were racing each other. They already had a turn over Choji and Shikamaru who were lagging behind the rest. At least Choji was putting the effort but he suspected Shikamaru alleged show of support was only another way to say 'I'm lazy'. Iruka-sensei had said they had to learn to crawl before they could walk and that physical conditioning was important before they begun taijutsu lessons. Naruto still didn't see how the two were related...

"Hey! Look at this!" Shouted Kiba as he pointed at something outside. Naruto followed his finger and saw a crowd had gathered on the other side of the fence. Kids were leaving the Academy and adults were waiting for them. The kids all had headbands on their foreheads. "That the new genins! Somed- Gah!" Running and talking at the same time wasn't a good idea and Kiba was left clutching his side and trying to catch his breath. Of course Naruto stopped running to be fair in their race... He did not actually laugh at his competitor's misfortune and was absolutely not rewarded for this by being left in the exact same position as Kiba!

"Geez! I hope that'll teach you not to show off... Who am I kidding? You're both hopeless cases!" Shikamaru and Choji had catched up to them...

"Is that this years genins? I though it was the first day..."

"Yeah, I was wondering the same!" Said Naruto in between pants. "Any idea why Shikamaru?"

"Am I your to-go person when you don't understand something?" A 'well duh' look was his only answer. "How troublesome... The last year doesn't get summer hollidays. They use that ime to prepare for graduation. Now I'd say there's a bit of manipulation too in there..."

"Whaddya mean?"

"They get out at the same time the first years are running outside, that's too big of a coincidence. I'd say they dangling it under our noses so we got pumped up."

"That'll be us in four year!"

"You got that right!"

Kiba and Naruto didn't seem to care...

* * *

Two months had passed and had put a dent into Naruto's enthusiasm. The boy was watering a patch of flower in the counmpoud garden without his usual smile. Kyosuke couldn't help but wonder what got the kid so down. He ploped down the wall surrounding the garden making his presence known. "What's up kid?"

"Nothing."

"Wrong! The good answer was: the sky!"

The boy shivered. "That was awful."

"I know... Just like your mood."

"It's nothing." His uncle bumped his head. "Hey! What was that for?"

"You sounded like a broken disc. I fixed you!"

"Did not!"

"Did too. You're not saying nothing anymore. So what got you in the dumps?"

"No-" Naruto caught himself just in time. "It's just that I'm not that good..."

"At what? There's too much you suck at, you can't expect me to guess what you're talking about."

"At the Academy." Growled Naruto. "I'm bad at written tests. And taijutsu. And target practise. Chakra control..."

"Everything in short..."

"Yeah. It just doesn't work when I'm doing it. And everyone though I'd be so good when we started..."

"I see. That made it all worse, right?"

"Now all they talk about is Sasuke! 'He's so great!' and 'he's so cute'... And no one take me seriously anymore."

"And knowing you, you must be trainning your ass off,right?" Naruto nodded. "But it still doesn't work out... That's obvious what's wrong then." The boy shot him a hopeful look. "You're doing it wrong!" The boy faceplanted.

"What!"

"Relax! It happens. You only have to realize what's wrong and work around it. Contrary to what you believe going at something harder and harder doesn't always work out, it can even do the opposite."

"And how am I supposed to get better if I don't give it my all?"

"Hey! Don't get all crumpy at me! Think of it that way: let's say you want to make a fire and you all you have on hand is a water hoose. No matter how much water you pour out of it you won't make any progress, but you can look around for dry wood. And you still got your hoose for when you need it!"

"..."

"I lost you, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'll take another example. You're bad with kunai. The key in throwing them is having a good handle on them. You have to have a good feel of them in your hand and how they react when you manupilate them. Now most people just keep throwing them at target and get better with time. With what you told me you weren't as good from the start and you're not getting better as fast as those that were near your level then, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then keeeping throwing them won't get you any quick results! Either you keep at it until it works or you find another way."

"What other way is there at throwing kunai?"

"It's easy. Juggling!" Naruto's nearly impacted with the ground again only to be stopped by his uncle. "Stop doing that... No wonder you're so slow at time. What's so strange about this? If you juggle with kunai you'll get a good hang on them. It'll force you to balance them from different positions and to launch them quickly."

"But it can be dangerous..."

"Yes. That's why you'll use wooden kunais! They weigh thesame without the pesky cutting edge. I'm sure that you'll find some guys that'll get on your case because they're fakes but the kind of guys that talk about not taking the easy way out and repeat 'no pain, no gain' also keep raving about how the end justify the needs."

"Uh?"

"Hardasses are full of contradictions, that's all. Just tune the sadists out." Taking the weapon pouch around his calve Kyosuke handed it to Nauto. "Here. Your new best friends."

The boy examined the pounch's contents to find it full of said wooden kunais. "Tayuya?"

"She was bored and saw you out of the window one day. So, you really were that bad?"

"No! I'm sure she blew it out of proportion!"

"So you didn't maim half your class?"

"It's her I'm gonna maim!"

"I don't know about that. I don't think her mom would take it well, and she the one that's going to teach you sealing..."

"What? When?"

"After your first report card in three weeks. Of course tou never heard me say that. I'll deny it. Well, that leave us to work on your taijutsu. What do you think is wrong about that?"

"I don't know?" Naruto shuffled a bit at that "Everyone just beat me..."

That was... problematic. But all the better, the child was still malleable, a blank state... "Then let's go back to basics. To keep it simple there are three ways to go around hand-to-hand: you focus on speed, strength or a mix of both."

"Each has its advantages and its drawbacks. With strength you basically sit around trying to land that one big hit that'll leave the other out-cold. With speed your aim is to run circles around the other but your punches lack... well, punch. Both, forget about that one, it's not what as good as it's made out to be... And if I'm not mistaken that's everything you're trying to avoid." Not really unbiased but he was trying to influence the boy after all.

"So, which one is best?" Not unbiased enough apparently.

"If you want me to be honest, I'd say speed. Tanks tend to end up as sitting ducks if the one they're facing is fast enough. And the lack of punch of a speedster can be worked around, first speed help more when building force than mass does and a short blade also do wonders when your speed allow you to get under an opponent's guard." The kid seemed to take his word for it. Good. "Now before you ask, you'll have to do streches, lots of streches. You have to get your agility and flexibility up!"

Naruto seemed up for it.

AN: Why do I have the feeling I'm asking for flames?

A Naruto fanfic featuring crowds but no beatings? HERESY!

JOHNXgambit: Thank you for your review. Don't get too hard on Deidara-chan's lover214, as I said he was right. The first chapter was awfully written and my summary a jumbled mess and I understand it could deter readers. Spiting on Minato and Kushina didn't help either and I know that probably made me look like an arrogant douche (I'm not saying I'm not, I most certainly am...) for some (most?) people.

About Naruto and Hinata, well I never made a secret of my former identity so you can guess where it's headed. Both of them will be different yet the same than their canon counterparts.

My main gripe with canon Naruto is that the guy never thought for himself. He played with Kiba Shika and Chouji his whole childhood yet the ones that saved him from darkness were the downright mean Sakura and indiferent Sasuke because Kakashi and Haku said so. Jiraiya said he wanted world peace? 'no probs old perv! I'm gonna get you world peace!'... Team seven spent all of six months together, four of them not getting along, then they saved each other lives a couple of time and went their separate ways during two months (one months pause for the chunin exam and the one month search for Tsunade) and Sasuke left the very night they got back together... and their 'bond' is supposed to be that otherwordly thing that transcend life itself and that mere mortals can't hope to comprehend? Remember kids, getting along doesn't make you friends, it's being forced into a military unit together that does the trick. I call that military wanking of the highest caliber!

See, I warned you about flame bait! Naruto is still the most conformist of all revolutionaries though... ever. Stupid Elder Toad, pick up a dictionnary already!


End file.
